What an interesting question.

For more than a few years I was preoccupied with getting my therapist to love me. Somehow my brain believed that if she did, and I could feel it, I would finally be ‘enough’.

Towards the end of therapy, I had a few breakthroughs and harsh realizations particularly around what I was doing to try to earn that love and the negative impacts it was having on the rest of my life. My goal switched to gaining independence, inner strength, self-respect and the ability to self-care. Unfortunately my therapist remained a triggering distraction so I finished (and I’m still finishing) the rest of my work outside of therapy.