Thanks. Yes, I hope this T will be a better match than the former even if I didnīt feel any connection when talking to her on the phone. I think the caring bit is both a subjective feeling the client has and that some T:s are better than others in showing they care.
Good youīve found a support group, I know youīve also struggled a lot with finding help and therapists you can work with.
Yes, I felt my very first T cared about me but I couldnīt keep seeing her as my insurance company didnīt pay for more than 12 sessions. In Sweden we get that kind of "once in a lifetime offer" from the insurance companies so itīs not possible to go back for more sessions. Also, even if I did feel this first T cared for me she also hurt me badly and let me down when I complained about a couple of things she did. But I grieved that relationship for three years as I missed her even if she kind of abandoned me.
I think I now compare my latest therapist, the one I saw within church, with this new T. With the T in church I almost immediately felt a connection and that she cared in a genuine way. I still grieve that relationship very much and I think about the church T every day and still cry about missing her.
I know this new T should have a more relational approach as I was referred to her from the T I just saw for evaluation sessions this spring because I felt that T was way too strict and too much of a blank slate. (The T and the kleenex issue I wrote about her at PC). So I can just hope our contact will be fruitful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
I admire and respect that you keep on trying. Hope this idea, and this therapist even, work out better for you. Maybe they don't have to care about you in order for therapy to help in some way?
For me, I definitely do feel I need some people, somewhere, to care about me, though. I feel it somewhat more now that I lucked into a support group about 5 years ago. It's a lot more genuine than any of the fake superficial "caring" that I got in therapy. But that's just my experience.
I think you said a while back that you felt your first therapist cared about you? But then, she couldn't continue the therapy for some reason? Maybe she was a special person and that was a special relationship that cannot be repeated very well? Or, may be, in time with this therapist, some warmth will come when you're least expecting it? So, yes, not expecting it, just to be disappointed when it isn't there, seems like maybe a good idea.
|