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Originally Posted by here today
As others have said for them, I don't think the DNMS model would work for me. Despite the theory, I don't feel like I have or am in touch with the Resources enough, and just meditating about it or something wouldn't help me much because, essentially, I have tried that. Maybe I need some people in the real world who model those Resources, in order for me to develop what exists in potential? I don't know. DNMS just seems too lonely and detached to work for me.
One thing I have tried is to look for people who model what might be called Resources -- including what your T might refer to as a strong Adult Self. That has helped a little bit. And I'm able to look on some of those people fondly, even though I wouldn't say I was attached to them. Some are essentially strangers.
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I tried real hard when we went through all the possible resources. It was not gelling with me. He has me using the “Dog care taker” me as a resource. COME ON. Bull crap I cry. Seriously. I am supposed to visualize the part of me that nurtures the dog and use that to nurture the young 7 year old me. Pfft.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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