Hi WC,

Thanks for asking about my flu. I am still coughing and sneezing quite a lot but it is slowly getting better each day. You are right, my feelings about my friend bring up many associated memories of feeling rejected and dismissed, the way my sister also 'otherizes me' to my family members including my son.

I know you are right that forgiveness is for myself. To find serenity and not be living in a state of turmoil regarding other people or ourselves. That's what my 12 step program teaches but I find remarkably little in society at large about it. It's all about 'winning'.
I felt and continue to feel like a loser in my interactions with her. I understand that it is her narcissism or her upbringing that blinds her to my concerns.

I had also a lot of misgivings about how this woman is possibly manipulating the disability program she has access to through her employer. I had posted quite a bit about that in the past. It was really bothering me, so much that I couldn't look her in the eye the last time we were together. Then she pulled this stunt and dumped me in the middle of our outing.

So I had pretty negative thoughts about what she was doing before the latest incident, and the only thing that directly involved me.

Fortunately where I live in Canada is not affected by the heat wave gripping so much of North America. It is a cool, rainy day here and I am running my gas fireplace.

If I had more friends then this one loss would be less important to me.