You said that you loved your therapist. That love is something in you.

Maybe I can say that because I "worked" long and hard to piece through the feelings about my parents and in the end, love was still there. That love was mine, not theirs, it was in me even though I felt it about them.

The ability to love is a "good" thing, I think. It's a "good" thing in me, I think, even though it can also lead to a lot of pain sometimes. I guess I've decided to value that in me, because. . .well, maybe I just have.

Without love, the world pretty much just sucks, IMO. It pretty much sucks period. I'm not able to love often but it seems like something good in me when I can.

I see that same love in what you wrote about your T. And yes, it's awful when the mom and dad you love disappear and aren't there. And end up being torturers. And, yes, maybe that loving little girl dare not come out into the world as a result.

Or -- maybe that doesn't ring true with your experience at all. Just a thought. Seems to me I see a loving princess -- deeply, safely, protectively ensconced away -- in your writing sometimes, but maybe that's just me.