Rant away, sometimes the best realizations come from when we let those parts that want to rant, just speak their truths.

I am sorry you are struggling right now. It is hard, and it sucks. It's ok and human to want someone to take care of you and love you.


From what I understand in terms of object relationship... the mommy, isn't a specific person or gender. It is a set of feelings/interactions with a person that provides for specific needs we most associate with receiving from primary caregiver. We've labelled that person mommy because of society norms and because it is the mother that initially (evolutionary) was the one providing food/substances for newborns. If your T is providing for those types of needs, it's easy to see your psyche feeling like or wanting him to be that mommy object.

Then again, there's the whole sexualized daddy issue argument as well. And given your statement of giving yourself to men and what not - who knows, maybe that's in play a little too. It's all a confusing mess sometimes; until it isn't.

Personally, and most the time, I like parts work and I like to be able to lean on my T as my mommy object when those younger parts need reassurances. It's often surprising to me when they do or what they need reassured about.
I'm not sure if it will work for you or not; or what you need in that work for it to work for you.

Keep talking, we are here, we hear you, and we are listening.