Hi! Thank you but its not just now, I feel Ive never had a break all my life. I envy people who can actually take a day and relax and not about anything. With family situations etc theres never room for me to think about me and my needs.

I have tried therapy last year for 4 months.. Didnt seem to help.. I dont feel like going into therapy. First of all I have to consult it with work which is emberassing. I feel like such a weak guy for going and sit and moan to some guy who I dont think ever would understand.. I have lots of trust issues as well and like to keep things to myself because every other time Ive open up to someone it has come back to bite me somehow.

Thats also the reason Id like post on a forum than open up to my friends.

I found the "only way to keep a secret between two persons is if the other person is dead" to be very true in my life..

I do appriciate your kind words and they help!
I try not giving up. Took a ride in my car but didnt help. I just got angry and went home.

But today is just a real **** day. Especially when even more people are texting me now to go to this get-together tonight but I have no intention of going there when this ex girl is there.. Its just gonna break myself down even more.. Just sucks so much.