Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
You said that you loved your therapist. That love is something in you.
Maybe I can say that because I "worked" long and hard to piece through the feelings about my parents and in the end, love was still there. That love was mine, not theirs, it was in me even though I felt it about them.
The ability to love is a "good" thing, I think. It's a "good" thing in me, I think, even though it can also lead to a lot of pain sometimes. I guess I've decided to value that in me, because. . .well, maybe I just have.
Without love, the world pretty much just sucks, IMO. It pretty much sucks period. I'm not able to love often but it seems like something good in me when I can.
I see that same love in what you wrote about your T. And yes, it's awful when the mom and dad you love disappear and aren't there. And end up being torturers. And, yes, maybe that loving little girl dare not come out into the world as a result.
Or -- maybe that doesn't ring true with your experience at all. Just a thought. Seems to me I see a loving princess -- deeply, safely, protectively ensconced away -- in your writing sometimes, but maybe that's just me.
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Where does one learn how to love? Is this innate or you learn from getting loved from loving caring parents. What if you never had loving caring parents. Then you do not know what is love. I do not know if what I feel for my therapist is actually love or not. I know the thought of not having him in my life is excruciatingly painful and I can feel the the weak desire to leave just start fading away. Even though I say I love my therapist I am not even sure if that is what it is.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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