... I have ever been told is my father telling me to go and die and I mean nothing to him. He wished if I just died because I was't what he wanted me to be and how to be. This was 16 years ago, and I still remember that moment vividly as yesterday. It's a painful memory. I recently brought this up when I was angry and frustrated of him, and he told me maybe he was angry and didn't mean it, after trying to deny it it never happened. That moment I realized I am just a financial investment to my father, more than anything else. Moments like this (i.e., yelling, criticism, and verbal, emotional and physical abuse) have defined our relationship. Everything else means nothing. And then I am labeled as "ungrateful" by my parents because they are "loving"!!