Just to make it clear, no matter how much I think about it I'm just not attracted to my dad. I have a reflexive "No way ugh" response. I'm not sure if this part helps, but he's a normal and decent dad too. Also I don't have a history of violence. Unfortunately, I do watch real life gore... Aside from watching, I try not to be rude about it. I'm a little ashamed to say it passes the time, but it's not a substitute for my desires.

So around three times recently, not consecutively, I dreamed about liking my dad. It never got into the details, fortunately. I believe the first time was him hovering over me on my bed, arms at my sides. I was laying down. While we were fully clothed, the intention was clear. I remember smiling and being receptive to his advance. The second time I don't remember much, but I clearly recall waking up and thinking it was incestuous. In the third one - around 2 days ago - we were in a relationship. I vaguely recall some flirty smiles (ew).

What really disturbs me was that, as far as I can remember, I had one dream a few weeks ago about attacking a teacher that I respect. I don't think it was that physical, but by the time I was - ugh - done, she was afraid to sleep in her own room. In her own house. I worried a lot about that one, but it's extremely rare for me to have a dream with me being an attacker. Even when I do they're like zombie dreams.

Oh and while I fully accept and reflect on the grade I got from her class, the B troubled me for some time.