I don't think it's that outside the norm of human experience to wish someone who has hurt us was dead. I don't get why therapists can't see the nuance of that feeling. Recently my therapist suggested that I had probably wanted to kill my husband a time or two. He knows I'd never actually do it, but is aware that the thought must have crossed my mind, and he was correct. He did not make me feel ashamed for having those thoughts. Are these other therapists so sheltered that they've never wished harm on someone else? Personally, based on her reaction, I'd look for someone else.