Thanks NP,
No, T is not pressuring me at all. If anything he would be upset that I am pressuring myself. He knows “It takes as long as it takes” and would never think of pressuring me or making me feel bad for not trusting him. I tend to spend a lot of time in my head. I was a philosophy major in college and was exempt from the advanced analytic logic class requirement as my advisor deemed it “unethical to all of humanity” to potentially arm me with more logic. So I am fighting inside. The protective parts are protecting despite overwhelming evidence that he is safe. I keep coming up with every single tiny thing he has done to be safe and trustworthy and get frustrated when an overwhelming amount of evidence is negated by “because” or “NO”. The protective parts are projecting my mother onto me and believing that I would . And that’s what I keep “hearing” in my head, you are no better than mom...