Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTongued
I think the dynamic of the therapist-client relationship is inherently abusive. In what other scenario would you go to another adult/a stranger and immediately tell them all your vulnerabilities/fears/insecurities/failures etc and then take their feedback as gospel?
[...]
Knowing nothing about them we're essentially asking and trusting them to care about us. For a fee, of course. Can they really give a **** about us though? Can they care about all their clients that they see for one hour a week? Why should they care? Even if one believes that it's possible for them to genuinely care, one would have to acknowledge there's a lot of room for abuse in this dynamic. Or a lot of room for the therapist to just fake it. It's not a bad way to earn a living. Your clients trust you implicitly, and you have all this unearned authority. You get to feel good about yourself and pat yourself on the back for "helping people," And earn a decent living for just sitting in a room and talking and pretending to care.
|
This is not my experience of therapy. In fact, I was recently bemoaning to my T that it has taken me over 4 years of weekly sessions to be able to say some stuff to her. She asked how long I thought it should take - and said that if I came in and immediately opened my heart and soul and told her my deepest thoughts, feelings and fears, she would be very concerned! That's indicative of a completely different attachment problem!
Furthermore, I think it's a personal choice to pedestal anyone, and take anyone's word as gospel. Frankly - I identify as Christian and I don't take The Gospels "as gospel"!! Question everything - but also, know that we can't all be experts on everything. When my T tells me a thought/fear/experience is or is not common (she refuses to use the word "normal"), I trust her because she has talked in-depth with a
lot more people than I ever will. However, of the two of us, I am the expert on me - on my thoughts, feelings, experiences.
As far as paying them to care... I think most of us would find ourselves caring about someone we talked with regularly. I mean, I care about my co-workers - even the ones I don't know well. That's not to say that I don't often feel that my T only cares because I pay her to, but I try to remember the therapist blog that is occasionally posted here, where the T explains the exchange of money accounts for the way the relationship is unbalanced. I'm paying to not have to ask if she has the bandwidth to listen to me rant for the umpteenth time about my boss or whatever. She can use the funds to do enough self-care that she
can care about me.