if you dont trust others then that means you dont need our answers, in other words....you already know the answers are inside you and you dont need us to give you the answers. you know how to find your answers inside yourself.

my suggestion since you dont trust anyone, continue to look inside your self, rely on yourself for your answers and write about what you are learning about your self.

eventually you will have the answers that you are looking for because they are all inside you already