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Real-Other Resource from a positive direct experience
Think about someone you personally know or have known, who’s been supportive of you, like an aunt, uncle, grandparent,
friendly neighbor, or caring teacher. It could be someone you had a long-term relationship with (e.g. your grandma), or
just a single remarkable event (e.g. your uncle intervening in a crisis). It could be a personal relationship (e.g. with your
aunt) or a professional relationship (with your mentor). The relationship should be free of unresolved trauma.
Did you find one?
- If NO, go to D below.
- If YES, ask yourself…
If I’d been raised by someone who could have been as good to me as THIS SUPPORTIVE PERSON is/was to me,
would that have been a good thing?
- If NO, look for a better Real-Other Resource, or go to D below.
- If YES, go to Step 2 – Name the Resource, page 5.
I chose my Therapist
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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