Step 3 – Attune, Validate, and Empathize
Validate the part with something like…
(So honey) it makes perfect sense that you’d be very upset now, considering SIMILAR UPSETS FROM THE PAST .
Then… Do you see (or sense) the Resources?
When YES, ask… Do they look/seem good to you? Do they seem safe and comfortable?
When YES, ask… Do the Resources understand why you’re upset?
When YES, ask… What’s it like to notice that?
It will probably feel really good! (If that doesn’t, go to Complications with Resources Interacting with Wounded Parts,
page 6. When concern is cleared, come back here.)
Add… (So honey) what you went through back then was very painful. It was not right. Children should not have to
go through that. You deserved THE OPPOSITE OF THE WOUNDING .
Add… Do the Resources agree?
When YES, ask… What’s it like to notice that?
It will probably feel really good!
Add… (So precious) notice the Resources are here to love and support you. They don’t need you to feel any
differently than you do right now. Feel free to stay SAD / ANGRY / FEARFUL / MISTRUSTING as long as you need to.
They’re not here to talk you out of feeling that way. They’re just here to support you while you feel whatever you
need to feel. You’re wonderful and precious, deserving of tender, loving care. They want to take care of you, meet
your needs, and help you feel safe and loved. What’s it like to notice that?
It will probably feel really good! Take a long as you need to help the wounded part experience the Resources as active
caregivers. Customize these scripts, as necessary, to achieve this goal. If there are any complications, go to Complications
with Resources Interacting with Wounded Parts, page 6. Once cleared, come back here.