Step 4 – Orient to Present Time

Triggered parts feel stuck in the past – stuck in a time when they were relatively small, needy, powerless, and dependent on
grown-ups for survival. Perhaps you’re an adult now – with the power that adulthood brings. Like the power to earn money,
pay for food, clothes, and a place to live, and choose who you live with. But triggered parts are either unaware, or barely
aware, of that power. They need to understand life is different now. To bring a triggered part into the present, invite him/her
to answer one or more the following questions…
- (So little one) that painful childhood experience had a beginning, a middle, and an end. How many years has
it been since it ended? When is it going to happen again?
- If that frightening childhood experience happened now, what could you do to protect yourself now, that
you couldn’t do back then?
- How long has it been since you lived with WOUNDING PERSON(S) ? If WOUNDING PERSON(S) wanted to move
in with you now, and do those wounding things again, would you have to let them?
- Look around the room. Is this the room/home where all that bad stuff happened?
- Get out your driver’s license, and say… Look, you have a driver’s license now. Did you have one back then?
- (So sweetheart) look at your hands and wiggle your fingers? Do you see those are your adult fingers that
you can wiggle? Is this what you expected to see?
- If you’re wearing a wedding ring, ask… Do you see that wedding ring? What does that mean? Were you married
back then, when all that bad stuff happened?
- Get in front of a mirror. (So precious) touch your face. Do you see that’s your adult hand or your adult face? Is
this what you expected to see?
- (So honey) do you see you have power now that you didn’t have back then? What’s it like to notice that?