I know I already posted in this thread but I was reading it over and thinking. I think "honest love" with compassion exists. It means supportively sharing what you believe to be the case (when asked), not pushing your views on someone and realizing when to step away. Stepping away can be a way for letting natural consequences happen-in the case of my daughter who is an addict we had to let her go until she came home asking for help. But "tough love" is more like asshole love. Its self righteous and self serving and more focused on the person giving the tough love being "right" rather than having concern for the welfare of the person receiving the tough love.