I wish I could figure it out too. I also retreat into hermit mode but suspect avoidance isn't the right approach. I'm finally learning to set better boundaries which helps, but there's still some people I just don't want to see. Even worse than replaying events in my mind after the fact is the anxiety and dread beforehand. We're visiting family I don't like in two weeks and I am already stressed about all the complaints that the visit isn't long enough.

It is easier for me to mentally deal with difficult neighbors than it is to deal with family.