Hope, I am sorry that you are going through so much pain. I have been a lurker here for a long time and have only been posting for awhile. Since it is inappropriate to diagnose anyone, I wanted to ask you this:

Do you recognize these BPD traits in yourself?

1. Issues with abandonment
2. Difficulty with boundaries (constant emailing)
3. Extreme emotional reactions (difficulty regulating emotions.)
4. Suicidal thoughts
5. Impulsive behavior (cancelling sessions out of anger or being hurt)
6. Splitting (all good or all bad thinking)

After reading your posts for a long time, these are the traits that I come up with. I am in no way attacking you. I just thought that I would ask you if you see these traits in yourself. Do these sound familiar?

It sounds like you are working with a good psychiatrist. I'd say stick with him and see if he can be of any help to you.