It's been over a year since my friend ghosted me completely. As the title says, I'm not over it. I miss her. I miss being friends and having someone I knew I could tell anything. I did love her, but I don't think I was in love with her. I never told her that. I also haven't made a friend in all that time, at least none that I felt I could be that open with. I probably haven't because I don't feel I can trust anyone like that. She disappeared from my life completely, and left this huge hole that nothing can fill. I don't have a "best friend" and the people that call themselves my friends in real life aren't beyond the scope of where I met them, unless they want something. I must be a terrible human for this to happen so much.
One person did tell me, when she ended a different friendship, "things were getting too close." I'm not sure what that means.
So, I have nobody I feel like wants to be good friends, that will let me be there for them, and they for me.
I'm really out of the ability to trust like I could, and have over and over, because I'm going to be left yet again.
My questions are:
1) is it worth it?
2) am I worthy?
3) what is so wrong with me?
4) should I simply resign to being alone, as far as all relationships go?
5) what am I doing so wrong?
6) can I learn to trust again?