Most articles I've found from search engines involve talking about how to leave your abusive husband or how to know you're in a toxic relationship. That's all well and good, but what about if YOU are the toxic person and the other person is too blind or nostalgic to leave you and save themselves?


I am most definitely a narcissist. No, don't tell me that I am not one because narcissists never think they are one. That isn't true. Self awareness is NOT enough to fix yourself, contrary to popular belief.


He is a good person and he deserves a better life with a woman who is a fully formed adult and will appreciate him naturally, the way he deserves and she won't have to "try" to do it. It will just happen. He's still young and also smart and can earn money and he's accomplished in his field. He has a lot going for him. His friends know how I am, he will have endless support and they will introduce him to people. but he's attached to our life, I think he loves the idea of me, or what I could become if I found the right medication or therapy or mindset. But I am unfixable and I wish he would save himself.

He won't do it. he keeps staying and all we do is fight. He'll never heal if he doesn't go. He keeps remembering the good times and says I haven't brought him ALL misery, but any of you in abusive relationships know full well that you can't stay with someone just because there were good times. It's the whole package that counts.


Can someone please tell me how to convince him to leave me in the most humane way possible? How can I get him to see the truth and save himself before he is too hurt to ever trust again? Please, I am desperate to save my husband. He doesn't deserve this.