Quote:
Originally Posted by SorryShaped
It's been over a year since my friend ghosted me completely. As the title says, I'm not over it. I miss her. I miss being friends and having someone I knew I could tell anything. I did love her, but I don't think I was in love with her. I never told her that. I also haven't made a friend in all that time, at least none that I felt I could be that open with. I probably haven't because I don't feel I can trust anyone like that. She disappeared from my life completely, and left this huge hole that nothing can fill. I don't have a "best friend" and the people that call themselves my friends in real life aren't beyond the scope of where I met them, unless they want something. I must be a terrible human for this to happen so much.
One person did tell me, when she ended a different friendship, "things were getting too close." I'm not sure what that means.
So, I have nobody I feel like wants to be good friends, that will let me be there for them, and they for me.
I'm really out of the ability to trust like I could, and have over and over, because I'm going to be left yet again.
My questions are:
1) is it worth it?
2) am I worthy?
3) what is so wrong with me?
4) should I simply resign to being alone, as far as all relationships go?
5) what am I doing so wrong?
6) can I learn to trust again?
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Hi Friend
Yes yes yes you are worthy. When someone just vanished out of our lives it’s a huge blow, we start to question everything. It’s likely she had her own baggage that could have been the undoing.
I really wish people could just be honest. But we seldom get closure on relationships in a wrapping paper and a pretty bow.
I struggle with maintaining friendships and I have faded away from people because I just got to caught up in my own mess and overwhelmed, so I’m sure in the past there have been people upset and questioning what happened between us and were they at fault.
I should have found the strength to be honest or stronger or just kinder, but we are all imperfect disasters in our own ways, mental illness or not.
Is there a way for you look at your Bipolar from a different angle, find a pin point of light somewhere? You just need a thimble full of hope to get you right side up.
It’s time to realize you need to be kinder to yourself, yes it’s hard to do, but we offer kindness to others so we can comfort ourselves
