Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
The topic has come up in therapy recently that when he goes away and we miss sessions, especially when there's no contact, the feeling of being forgotten comes up. I brought it up before this current vacation and said I don't know where that's coming from. He said maybe it was my adoption. We didn't explore it further that day. I was adopted when I was one week old. I've often wondered through the years if my birth mother remembers me on my birthday. My birthday has always been a bittersweet affair. On one side, it's my birthday, but on the other side, it's the day my birth mother abandoned me. If you give birth to a baby do you think you would ever forget about it, even if it wasn't part of your life? I'm not a mother, so I lack that perspective.
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I am an adoptive mom. I adopted my son out of the foster care system when he was 6. He had been removed at age 4. It was a “closed adoption” because is was child services so his bio family was not to know anything. I found his family and we did visits. No, they never forgot him. Yes, they wonder about him on his birthday and holidays. However, the family bonds were shattered by child services in a way that seems to have been beyond what could be healed. They have had minimal contact over the years even though they love him. When there is stress in the family he is brushed to the side because they know he is safe and cared for someplace else. It wasn’t the happy connection I had hoped for him.
I was present when my great grandson was born (my “step” sons daughter). I had only met my son and his family one other time before the birth. I will never forget that day, my son, my grand kids and especially not my great grandson even though I didn’t know them, or even that they existed 6 months before my great grand baby was born.