Yesterday T and I were working on severely neglected infant me. I had told T that my protective parts did not feel it was safe yet to allow T to be with infant me. T held my hand to try and help keep me grounded. T told me what he would have said to “that little baby” had he been there. He uses that language because of my protective parts not wanting him near my young parts. He told me that even though she was inconsolable if he had been a nurse where I was born he would have held me. He would have told me he was sorry I was born into this difficult life. He said he would have told that baby he hoped that she would find loving, compassionate people in her life that could show her something better. At the end of session we always hug. At the end of session it was a really long hug and he repeated all those things to infant me while he was holding me in that hug. Personally, with my attachment issues I find this far more healing and helpful than the T who identified some of the unmet child needs and then dumped those needs on adult me as if I had somehow miraculously discovered how to meet needs I didn’t understand on whichever birthday it was when I magically became an “adult”.
Moxi, I wish I could loan you my T or at least one of his really great hugs if you wanted it.