I wish you the best Hope. I hope that you and your pdoc can figure things out quickly so you can start working on a treatment plan. If you are correct, I'm sorry you couldn't accept the bipolar dx years ago so you could have getting help for it by now. I guess I never pegged you for someone who experienced mania, from your posts I have only observed the depressive moods.

Regardless, don't let a label keep you from getting better. Treat the symptoms no matter how you got them, they are there and making you miserable. I hope you decide that you want to work at experiencing a better life. T is never quick or easy but well worth the results.