Miguel gets home in a week. I need to do art, I just don't want to. I keep putting it off. I'm not doing anything right now chores wise. I haven't showered, changed, or done my hair in days (maybe a week). I get up drag myself to the couch because if I stay laying there my anxiety spikes with all these long off concerns and things I can't do anything about. Then I sit on here trying to read and respond but fail. Eventually I eat (toast), take dinner out, and start the long process of waking my husband up every hour until he gets up. Then we eat and I go back to sitting on the computer until dinner and then wait here for when I can finally go to bed.

I don't want to ask my husband to do anything. I don't want anything negative and he's not well either. Last time I tried to actually talk to him he made me cry and feel shittier. I'm not over that yet.

I need to make a schedule and try and stick with it. I'm failing at daily life.

I'm trying to tell myself things I think are untrue but other then that I'm not really doing anything. I don't even write.

My mind goes to non-helpful "helpful" stuff that I shouldn't do.

Nothing is balanced right now.

Thank-you,

ETA: Sorry Scooter9