Still struggling a lot with the idea that I am behind my peers in my career. Few hours ago I opened a book to start reading because crying all day long won't change anything, but I still haven't read a word. All I was thinking I am a failure and will never be able to find a job, and how all the people I know abandoned me and no longer recognize me. It's very painful. I am depressed, fractured, angry, and bitter. From myself and from the world. I have tried everything I could, but to no avail. I feel people are happy with me failing because this makes them feel successful, as I feel as a failure when I see them successful in their careers!! I have been stuck in this cycle for years, and still not being able to break free!!