Welcome, @pricehaylein! I'm SO SORRY for what you're going through I second what fern46 and BirdDancers have already wisely said better than I ever could. Definitely contact your therapist or a professional as soon as you possibly can! You deserve to get better. Please try your best to stay safe and keep in mind that those voices are NOT real and that you're just having a bad episode. I hope your Doctors will be able to help you out with this. In any case, please stay safe and contact ANYONE who may be able to help you and provide support. We're here for you as well! I hope you have a support system IRL. In any case, feel free to PM me ANYTIME! I'm sure others will gladly help you as well. The most important thing is for oyu to stay safe, ok? PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! You're cared for and we ALL certainly care about you, I'M SURE OF THAT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, your family and friends, pricehaylein, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you and Accept you for who you TRULY are! PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEPR OCKING LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY SO MUCH WONDERFULLY DOING!