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But with the distance and everything that happened with my last relationship (not feeling like enough, constantly disappointing my ex, my ex not communicating his feelings properly), I feel like a sinking ship. I'm constantly doubting if this new guy actually likes me. I worry I'm being annoying because my last text I sent was "too flirty," or if I'm messaging him too many times during the day. I get freaked out if he takes a long time to reply or seems to be "ignoring" my texts. I KNOW that people get too busy and can't reply sometimes. I'm trying really hard to not be so distrusting. It's just so easy for me to think that I'm going to mess things up.
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It sounds like your last relationship is trying to have a disproportionate effect on this one. Good and important to be aware of this and keep it in mind.
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I don't want to be paranoid anymore because I should be able to relax and TRUST that he likes me. But I'm just stuck in the old thinking habits of my past relationship.
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Imagine that you are driving a bus, the aimlesshiker bus.
There are some unruly passengers. They are calling out annoying things about the driver--you!
Even though you have these annoying passengers, you still can drive the bus.
You can still get to where you want to be.
So even though the passengers are annoying, keep on driving the bus! In other words, keep on making whatever decisions seem best to you. Realize that even though you might be stuck with the annoying passengers for a while, you can still reach your goals. The aimlesshiker bus can still reach its destination!
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Help. How do I just let myself be loved by the most perfect human? All I want is to let love in and not be so damn hard on myself.
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Yes, definitely allow love to come on board!
Maybe you will still be hard on yourself. The annoying passengers might not just leave immediately. But even so the bus can become warmed by love!
And still reach its destination.