It's easy to get hung up on the label, but if you get stuck there, you don't move forward.

Look at the behaviors/symptoms you display (you don't even have to look at the list; you know what they are) that cause you the biggest issues, the most repeated issues, in your life. Work on discovering effective approaches for countering those issues. What do you need to understand, what do you need to do differently, so that those behaviors/symptoms start decreasing? What are the positive opposites of those behaviors that you'd like to see in yourself? What can you take control of so that you start increasing those positive qualities in your life?

It won't happen quickly. It won't be easy. I won't happen in a straight line. It will be more like three steps forward, two steps back. But change can happen. No one can do it for you though. It's work.

Is your therapist (who I understand to be a psychiatrist - not sure) really good at working in therapy mode? Does he have specific training to work with bpd? It might mean you need to find a different therapist (and still keep your doctor for meds if needed) who specializes in these kinds of issues. You might need to look into a good DBT program perhaps has a supplement to your work with your doctor. I don't know. These are the discussions you need to have with him. He'll be able to point you in the right direction.