(Trigger)



A baby has a pacifier to suck on when it's a baby... it's how it copes, how it calms itself. But it's supposed to grow out of that. When you take that pacifier away the baby cries and cries.

A child has a security blanket often.
A kid can have its favourite plush toy.

It's like that with SI, but I'll never grow out of it. If you take it away I can't cope. It's taking my safety away. It's exposing me and making me suffer.

Why bother stopping? I'm useless and can't cope without it. And now I'm trying to make myself consider the psych ward to help me. Who the hell cares anyways? I'll never change. I never change. I'll always be the same old useless Vince.

It hurts. I probably shouldn't have done it but I needed to. I'm sucking on my pacifier, I'm hugging my favourite plush toy, I'm wrapping myself around with that blanket, whenever I take the blade that's what I'm doing. It's all I know.

My family and friends will see me tomorrow the way I look now and ask me if I'm alright.

I'll say I'm fine, it's nothing.

And then I'll go it all over again.

I'm useless. I want to do it again but it's getting late and my girlfriend will wonder what I'm doing. I'm useless. Sorry you wasted your time reading this.