I am sorry you are feeling like this. Since losing someone suddenly like you did your husband can be a traumatic event, I would think it makes sense that you'd be feeling anxious and scared now that you know you are in a position to feel hurt again if something happens to him. Wanting to run seems like a normal reaction to that kind of fear to me, as a way to protect yourself from the possible pain. I hope you are able to find a way to enjoy your relationship without being too overwhelmed with this fear. Do you think your therapist will be able to help?