I find it really hard to define recovery as well. I don't expect, or probably even want, to be the same person I was before the exploitation. Sometimes the process reminds me of the fictional stories of people with "multiple personalities" who have to integrate the different personalities. I wish I had more journals from before and during the years I was involved with her, because sometimes I have trouble remembering who I was. I have only recently realized that there are things that I struggle with and have been thinking of as lifetime issues or part of my personality - difficulty concentrating, memory gaps, holding onto useless objects to the point of having a house that looks hoarded ( that problem is better thank goodness), impulsive actions - all only existed AFTER my therapist betrayed my trust. I'm pegging away at having different reactions to things related to that time - like seeing a car like hers, and having difficulty not going home straight from work.