Oh gosh, my therapist is as far from detached and indifferent as you can imagine. I know many Ts ARE like this, but mine certainly is not. She is really kind and accepting, and gives a lot of herself to the process. I think a lot depends on the therapeutic stance the T takes - mine is very much from a humanistic perspective. She hasn't actually used the term transference at all, I use it because it's something I've understood about myself before, with other people. I think my shame comes from childhood and how sexual stuff became associated with love and care. I do believe she would be fine with knowing how I feel. For some Ts it would make them uncomfortable I guess, depending on how much or little their own stuff is impacting on them.