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Mixed states were causing me too much stress, so my pdoc doubled my Lamictal dose. My mind was quieter within 48 hours. It's so quiet, in fact, that I feel fairly depressed. But even more strange than the depression feelings is this:
I have a bottomless well of fear because the mania is gone. It feels like a large part of my brain has been sucked away. My mind is so still that there's a void...a black hole of "blank." Last night while lying in bed and trying to fall asleep I was acutely aware of the "void" - the absence of my "normal reality." My awareness of it caused me to be close to panic.
I'm wondering if others know what I mean...have experienced that blank, black, bottomless well of nothing. Should I call my pdoc (she keeps urging me to notify her if I experience what feel like unusual side effects) or should I wait this out and see what happens over the week-end? For those who know what I mean, what did you do?
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