Hi September

I don't want to rush with this, so I'm taking my time replying... thinking it over a bit.

I think it's accurate to say that we have put different faces on our pain... not sure that would make in any difference in how to treat it, or discuss it... As we move along each of us can take what applies to us and leave the rest.. no harm, no foul I can think of two reasons I vetoed the inner child label for myself... One, the exposure I've had to it is deeply feminine.. not to say that's wrong... just saying, well, I'm a guy... Two, I need guy terminology... hence, the dragon. Batttles and war and strategy, swords, combat.. you probably get it.... But I don't plan on fighting my dragon... no war, no battle, no blood... My intent is to tame the dragon.

Because he's a part of me, killing him would be killing a part of myself. I can see he has purpose, just doesn't know how to accomplish his goals. I'm going to help him. As I work through the nine questions, his purpose will become more evident. But first things first.

I'm not sure you getting the full meaning of what I'd said about how the dragon came to be. Let's try it this way.... It is the very act of healing ourselves that reinforces the idea that we are ill. Maybe we are not ill. Maybe we only need to adjust our self-image to allow these less attractive traits to co-exist with our better characteristics. Who has ever been perfect?

Your inner child says to you "It's not fair that I was mistreated." The bandaid is "Well, life's not fair, get used to it." Why should we get used to it? Should we allow ourselves to be stepped on and mistreated because "that's life"?

At three, ten, even as adults, we have to abide rules, unfair treatment.... but as adults we believe we should have more power over what can and can't be done to our mind, body and heart. Yet, there still are times we don't have that control... we feel like children without choices, made to accept what we don't like because "that's life." As adults, do we advise ourselves to "get used to it"? I don't believe we should, and I don't believe we ever should have been taught the lesson, to get used to it, as children. As adults, we have the power of proactive response.

There are going to be some differences in how we attack this problem. My issues are not childhood related or the result of overbearing parents. I am able to point a finger directly at the source, and it is still alive and well. I'm hoping that in a general way, we can each find insight in each others statements.

I'm assuming your dragon is your mom's mom. How you heal is unique to you... I hope in answering the nine questions, we individually and together find something we can each use.

I also assume others are reading this post and maybe some unseen person will get something from it. Anyone is welcome to comment or participate.

Question two is: How did the dragon grow?

For me, the dragon was compounded of negative self-thoughts, negative responses to imagined negativity, and negative response to real negativity. Together, these items became larger thru repetition, irrational justification, increasing sensitivity, magnification, and distortion, among others... It took about 20 years before the dragon became something I could no longer control once aroused.

The more I worked to become a smarter, stronger, wholer person, the more I hated those things that fed the dragon. As I began to appreciate virtue on deeper levels, the more I hated non-virtue. The growth of my "positive" side, deepened my hatred for the "negative" side. I was ignorantly grooming the dragon at the same time I was seeking my angels.

The next question is "What is the dragon about?" I hope to be able to convey why I choose to tame the dragon, rather than kill it.

Thank you for accompanying me on this journey... I hope we will each find rewards at the end

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius