Have you considered or looked into any professional help? Oftentimes we don't let ourselves think we're bad enough to need it, but it seems evident to me (I am not a professional helper) that you could use it, especially with the thought that the world is out to get you. If you really feel that way, it's a common symptom of clinical depression, for which there are a lot of things you can try.

It might be hard, but consider spending a bit of time alone with yourself. I recommend letting people know that you're doing it, and asking them to bear with you (if you need to), and then just keeping quiet for a day. Read, listen to music, etc., but try to shut out potential distractions. It's only for one day, though, and it's a way for you to get a chance to hear your inner thoughts. Sounds corny, but it can be a much-needed deep breath and allow you some insight on how to get at the solutions to your problems.

Not that I think you might, but just to be on the safe side, please don't do anything drastic. If you want to talk, I recommend coming here to PC where we all spend a lot of time, and looking at the chat room. You can also just post long rants if that helps, or PM me or anyone else.

Again, corny-alert: there are a lot of us here who, despite what it may seem, have been through these things before. We may not always know what we're talking about, or have perfect solutions, but we will always listen and try our damnedest to understand. That can be helpful if you think those around you "just don't get it" or want to make your life hell.

*hug* - good luck!