I'm so sorry this has happened, circles5. I live in the US but have a very close friend in the UK, and it seems like the NHS pretends to offer mental health care, but mostly does not live up to this. I have seen multiple news stories about actively suicidal people being placed on months-long waiting lists by NHS. There are also many diagnoses accepted and treated here in the US that are not accepted as valid by the NHS.

I hear you that you can't afford to go private, but I would put my effort into trying to find some sort of private option (whether by earning a little extra money, finding a pro-bono or sliding scale / inexpensive T, trying the MIND charity, just something else besides NHS). I know that isn't easy either, but may ultimately be less frustrating. I think in many ways the NHS is superior to the frequent lack of health care we have here in the US -- but they really suck at mental health care. Know that you are not alone and the things they say about mental health are frequently clueless. Try not to take it personally if that's possible.