Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
Miguel gets home in a week. I need to do art, I just don't want to. I keep putting it off. I'm not doing anything right now chores wise. I haven't showered, changed, or done my hair in days (maybe a week). I get up drag myself to the couch because if I stay laying there my anxiety spikes with all these long off concerns and things I can't do anything about. Then I sit on here trying to read and respond but fail. Eventually I eat (toast), take dinner out, and start the long process of waking my husband up every hour until he gets up. Then we eat and I go back to sitting on the computer until dinner and then wait here for when I can finally go to bed.
I don't want to ask my husband to do anything. I don't want anything negative and he's not well either. Last time I tried to actually talk to him he made me cry and feel shittier. I'm not over that yet.
I need to make a schedule and try and stick with it. I'm failing at daily life.
I'm trying to tell myself things I think are untrue but other then that I'm not really doing anything. I don't even write.
My mind goes to non-helpful "helpful" stuff that I shouldn't do.
Nothing is balanced right now.
Thank-you, 
ETA: Sorry Scooter9 |
MM, is art one of your coping skills, or a hobby? I think art can be a very good coping skill if it's something you like. I am not a painter, but have enjoyed getting some cheap canvas and oil paints and following a Bob Ross video online with my friend. It distracted me once from my obsessive thoughts, they were still there but didn't drown me. I also have tried pottery with a couple of times, working with clay feels therapeutic to me because of the sensory experience.
It sounds like you're having a really hard time right now and I hope you can stay safe. I'm sure it's an extra challenge if your husband is also not doing well. Maybe if you make that list of things to do start off super simple so you can feel accomplished when you get one done. Sending compassion