I'm in the same boat depression hit me along with anxiety when I was 17 I remember going to work with panic attacks! I've had luck with antidepressants and I can say if I'm off them I'm worse. Are u sure you have tried all antidepressants?? And upping the dose? I would exercise all options. But i know the feeling I have bad depression and I'm going to set up a phych app to see if there's something they recommend. Really hope u visit ur doctor or search online more for resolutions !