I don't recall having had the opportunity to welcome you to PC, Coco.  So... welcome!  I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.  Hopefully having come here to PC can be of some comfort & support.  Here are links to 5 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of OCD:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) | Psych Central
The Best and Worst Treatment Options for OCD
ERP Therapy: A Good Choice for Treating OCD
Avoidance in OCD: It's Never the Answer
When OCD Targets Your Relationship
Good luck with your upcoming therapy appointment!   
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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