Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia2
I am most familiar with the concept of recovery from my experience with addiction and the many other people I have encountered in that context. I think some people just prefer to always look at it as an open-ended, ever progressing process, sometimes out of fear other times as a healthy reminder of the past and what can happen. I think this can also apply to traumatic experiences and abuse, which often generates chronic anxiety, fear and low self-confidence.
My impression is often that seeing these things as life-long processes can be a personality thing/choice, or it can truly be a sign that someone is still quite significantly affected by it, the mind is still preoccupied and sometimes feels vulnerable. I have things from my own life that I look at differently in this sense. For example, I definitely feel recovered from chronic bullying and an eating disorder in my far past - I never ruminate on those in a negative, emotional sense and it's been that way for decades now. They also do not affect my life or cause me challenges in any form now except some actually positive lessons and resilience acquired through them. Definitely don't feel the same way (yet?) regarding my alcohol abuse, which was in a much more recent past and caused a lot more damage than anything else... so I think it's more realistic for me to say I am still kinda recovering from it even though I rarely feel vulnerable to relapse now. And there is the thing that has been life-long and I do not expect it to ever go away fully: anxiety. Better to accept that and learn to cope with it, much like a relatively mild chronic physical illness (so I like the GAD diagnosis, very accurate for my case).
I believe interpersonal traumas and abuse can work similarly. Not everyone has a traumatic reaction to start with, some recover more easily/quickly, other perhaps never fully. But it is really best to apply the terminology that's most helpful for a person, i.e. if "recovering" transmits a feeling of being defective forever, maybe not the most helpful term. If it helps someone to be more cautions without excessive avoidance, I think it can be quite helpful.
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Very interesting post. What is most relevant to me after thinking about it for a couple of days are two things.
1. Vulnerability. Many people go to therapy with vulnerabilities that we may not even know about. In my case I didn't get into relationships in the real world where I was exploited -- I could look out for that. But therapy was a different kettle of fish and I do fault the profession for allowing and setting up a system that has little recognition of the potential for harm and exploitation that can cause.
2. Addiction and recovery. I wasn't addicted to substances but I think addiction to therapy may be a good description for what my situation was. And, yes, there is shame and chagrin connected with. I still feel some longing for the (fake) validation and affirmation. It is somewhat similar to the few years after I quit smoking. But that was more than 30 years ago and I no longer want to smoke, would probably dislike it a lot if I tried it again, so I feel pretty recovered from that.
So, recovery from therapy (and therapy addiction) in my case is probably best accomplished by avoiding more therapy. For others, avoiding situations that led to abuse may be the key.
"Recovery" from the pre-existing trauma and damaged sense of self -- I don't know about that. That's the dilemma. Getting caught up in therapy and exploited by therapists just worsened it for me. At least finally I have gotten out.