I know this isnt bipolar related but you guys know me.

I have multiple traumas and I'm starting emdr with a therapist that is brand new at doing it. She is also new at seeing me. My impression of her is that she is intimidated by me and overwhelmed.

But....I developed this anxiety about bathing and it's a long story but that's what we're doing emdr on. I HAVE to get where I'm bathing again frequently. Right now I only do it when one of my friends is available to talk on the phone while I bath. I can't take showers because I have a bad back. I have a shower chair but getting up and down kills my back. So taking a bath is my only option.

I fear she's not qualified to help me. Recently we started going through a time line of my traumas and I'm highly triggered. She didn't give me anything to fall back on. We went from ages 4-10 and it's a lot. We start ages 10-20 tuesday. That's even more trauma. Talking about all this trauma is just making me angry and feel sorry for myself. Her response was that I have a right to feel sorry for myself and to feel angry. That doesn't help me. Going through ages 10 -20 will be very difficult. I really don't even want to think about it

My family is in total denial about things like this. One of my sisters who is my biggest support is the worst for living in denial. It's hard not having her support.

I don't trust her yet. But I have to get bathing. Finding someone else won't work I'm on medicaid and I talked to her supervisor and it will be a long wait to get someone new. I'm stuck with her. She's freshly out of college and very young and I will be one of her first clients she will be doing emdr with.

I'm also coming off diazepam right now so I don't know how much that is playing into this. I'm losing weight like crazy and barely eating.

I need to get bathing but I don't trust and I just don't find her qualified but I need to get bathing. What do I do.