I was feeling really awful so I bought some razors to use to self harm. I sent my T an email saying that I’d done this and he got really worried and texted me a bunch and called several times but I’d taken a sleeping pill and had fallen asleep and didn’t notice for a while. I woke up like 45 minutes later to these panicked texts and so I texted him back and then he called and made me throw them away outside. I only did it because he says he won’t work with me if I’m self harming. But it’s not like he gave me any other way to get through these really awful times. I imagine it doesn’t make sense to people who haven’t experienced it but SH really effing works to calm me down when nothing else does.