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Hello fracturedreality,
The first thing I would like to do is to draw your attention to the Resources list posted as a sticky at the top of this discussion: Resources. I think what might be especially helpful to you are the links related to voice hearing. I would encourage you to check those resources out on your own schedule and take from them anything that you find to be personally helpful or relevant.

It's worth noting that there are different models of the "schizophrenic" process. The one that best fits my own personal situation (and may fit for you) is that of ego fragmentation. In this situation, "ego" refers to your personal sense of self identity. Situations that can produce ego fragmentation include...

- Drug use: Street drugs or prescription drugs can erode one's personal boundaries.
- Life transitions: Adolescence, the transition to adulthood and mid-life are all examples of times when one's sense of self-identity is in a state of transition, and thus, is already a little thin.
- Stress or trauma: Sustained stress or traumatic situations may produce a collapse of the egoic structure.

Those are just a few examples. You would have to think about it and determine if they fit your personal situation.

I get a feeling i cant quite describe, it doesnt quite feel bad, rather, powerful, and i find it quite useful if i channel it to drawing or writing music which seems to be the only thing i can focus on for long periods of time.

I tend to be very drawn to music myself. It speaks to me on a different level from ordinary conversation. This is the music that feels right for this space...

Music of the Hour:

I hope you'll continue to post here fracturedreality. No doubt, you will find other human beings who can identify with your personal experience.

See also:

- Schizophrenia &amp; The Hero's Journey

- The Hero With a Thousand Faces

- The Hero is Us

- A Special Message for Families and Friends of Someone Diagnosed as Having Schizophrenia