Oh damn. This kind of horridness is SO hard!

In my family, we've had similar. Details aren't the point; let's just say that my son and one of my daughters haven't spoken in over a decade -- and won't. I hve had to declare myself Switzerland -- while validating her anger and his hurt and disgust. It's so so hard!

Honestly, your brother's idea of going to a therapist is spot on imo. It's very possible his feelings of being betrayed by his jerk teacher are all mixed up in his persistent feelings of beinig betrayed/unsupported by you and the family friend?

We love who we love -- family and friends included. THey have flaws, some acknowledged -- and some not and possibly never will. It's a tough situation, and I think everyone is eventually gonna face a Great Divide, where two people we care deeply for are angry with each other. If you can, try to validate your brother's feelings -- regardless of what Friend actually said/meant, it had a terrible wounding impact on your brother. At the same time, at his age and presumable maturity level, he is out of line to demand that you should now hate Friend bc he once did/said something ill advised and damaging.

Therapy, yup. And no, you are not a horrible person. Loving someone does not mean you issue a blanket approval automatically for every choice that they ever made.

Best to all of you,

Chyia