Hello Glasses: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC.
I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.
One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:
https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/
I don't know as there is a lot I can offer in the way of advice with regard to your situation. To me this seems like an excellent discussion, or series of discussions, to have in therapy. I know you mentioned you've "had counseling, etc." But if you're not currently seeing someone perhaps it might be worth considering seeing someone again since the decision you need to make is clearly of concern to you & has quite a few facets.
You didn't go into the specifics of what it was that made your "pre-move" situation so difficult. From my perspective I think a large part of what decision you might make, about moving back there, hinges on what it was that caused you to leave to begin with. If by moving back you'd be returning to the very same circumstances that caused you to move away to begin with then I think it might be wise to think seriously about whether or not returning makes sense.
I understand going back would probably be nice for your son as well as your daughter. But is it worth taking the risk that your own mental health may deteriorate as a result (if that is in fact the case?) On the other hand, you wrote that you miss your son, your friends & the place you used to call home. These are certainly significant concerns not to be taken lightly. Ultimately I guess only you know the answer to the question you raise.
Personally I don't think any of us, here on PC, would be in a position to comment with regard to the status of your attachment to your son... whether it is or is not healthy. (I know I'm not.) You mentioned having shared your thoughts with a couple of people who brought up the "unhealthy attachment issue". You didn't mention who these people were. I do think, personally, one needs to be careful about putting too much stock in lay-peoples' amateur mental-health-related comments. So if the individuals who brought this up were not mental health professionals who are familiar with your circumstances, I would be inclined to be appreciative of their concern, but to not put a whole lot of stock in it. (Just my own personal bias mind you...)
All that written, here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of making good decisions, the first by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. Also included are links to 3 articles on the subject of attachment styles just in case you're interested in reading a bit more on that subject:
Choices: How Do You Make Them?
Can't Make That Decision?
15 Tips to Help You Make the Most Important Decisions
5 Tips on How to Make the Right Choice
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...ser-decisions/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/4-ques...ood-decisions/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is...-it-important/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...oes-it-matter/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17
I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
