My T asked me to agree that I'd call him before calling out of work. I was feeling really bad this morning and I didn't think I could manage--I'm all slow in the body and in the mind. So I called him and he talked me into going. He was all, "just take a shower and then text me, then put clothes on and eat something and then text me." And now it's too late to cancel my patients for this afternoon even though I feel like absolute crap and am completely overwhelmed by everything.

I'm regretting that. I should have just told him to go eff himself. I mean, you can't call him uninvolved, I appreciate that about him. But I'm sick of Opposite Action. It's so freaking invalidating. I feel like I can't manage, so why are you telling me I can? How the eff does he know? What if I bail in the middle of clinic because I can't stand it anymore? What if tonight I feel even worse because I used up all this energy doing something I felt like I couldn't do?

(Or maybe he's right and my self-assessment is totally screwed and when I think I can't I'm wrong?)