Nursing homes do suck. I remember years ago, the bath schedule was one bath a week. The urine smell was strong. I understand that you don't want to leave him there. At least, I try to put myself in your shoes and I cant, but .. I just hope you find something a bit better and realize you've done all you can, and it's so hard for you to lose him, I wish you didn't feel so alone. You can p.m. me too, here for you....